Basow and Valenti have totally opposing approaches to telling us the same messages: Women will never (at least in this day and age) win. Ever since Dr. Widman came to class, and we talked about Hookup Culture and all these other things, I have become obsessed. I observe, experiment, and find myself saying and doing things I probably wouldn't be if it wasn't in the back of my mind all the time. But, I mean, look at it: Valenti never holds back and unfortunately, she always speaks the dreaded truth we all desperately ty to avoid the existence of. She mentions throughout this chapter that women, girls, and pre-pubescent teeny boppers behave in ways they may not even personally feel comfortable with; however, we theorize that if we sit around at home reading the Bible, or even riskier--watching a PG13 movie on your own, you will remain alone. We live in a society where one must literally leap out of her comfort zone and take chances to find companionship. Valenti says its bs that [we] do things just to fit in or please someone else. She emphasizes that we shouldn't succumb to these social pressures, and we should not do anything that we would not do if those social pressures were not present. For "all the single ladies," thats so much easier said than done. Let's play pretend! I'll pretend I'm a virgin, and you pretend you care about me< typical dialogue minus words right? Valenti has this one point where we must wax, pl
uck, strip, and suck whether we want to or not. She makes an effort to argue that it is not inherently feminine, but we are limited by our sexuality and must pluck and suck unless we would rather be pluckin "he loves me, he loves me not" daisies and suckin on capri suns until youre 40 and then you result to e-harmony. And oh my God, what about this double standard we have to live up to? We are expected to all be hott virgins. How the heck did that become the reality? AND how many of us are actually that? Then when you actually succeed in the impossible and don't give it up, your rep is still shot. We just cannot win. I like to compare it to an old childhood favorite--Candyland. Its almost as if [we] get stuck in Gloppy the Molasses Monster's (which is ironically enough, a depicted as a male character) gooey, sticky, controlling, yet delicious substance and we can't get out. One little taste, and you're stuck. What a gentleman. It may be a ridiculous analogy, but I think it can work. Basow tried to be nice about it and say that women do have roles outside the kitchen, but
its all enviornmental. You see these horticultural and industrial societies where women play bigger roles, but it is based off of their child-bearing capibilities. Sometimes I wish that movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger, Emma Thomson and Danny DeVito (fantastic cast) was realistic. Our role in society is completely revolved around the fact that women can bear children and men cannot. I wish just for one day the whole male population on earth (sans the underpriveledged who have enough to deal with) could get a little taste of what it is like to feel the social pressures of looking perfect all the time, to have the to have unwanted sex, to have the risk of becoming pregnant from unwanted sex, to have a time of the month, to understand why biologically we are so emotional, and to bear children and give birth. I'm not one to sit there and cry "oh woe is me," but reading Basow and other authors in this class get me a little steamed about how it is so difficult for women...all the time! On the same note, we are working on our project in which we decided to focus on women's roles cross-culturally and it annoys me even more when I see the roles of women in Latin America, the Middle East, small tribes in Africa, etc. And we think we have it bad...at least we aren't plhysically forced to perform unwanted tasks. I don't know what seems more terrifying: to have 8 babies because your husband wants his offspring to continue his "good genes," to be considered property of your husband and you are used at his disposal fully aware that he is having an (or several) affairs, or to be a the mother of a bastard child (not to mention that she is continually raped after being circumsized) in whom the father is your country's enemy. You can argue that our society and these environmental factors limit women, but I would have to say that this time the grass is greener (maybe because it is sod in this consumer nation representing fake contentment if you will) on our side.
uck, strip, and suck whether we want to or not. She makes an effort to argue that it is not inherently feminine, but we are limited by our sexuality and must pluck and suck unless we would rather be pluckin "he loves me, he loves me not" daisies and suckin on capri suns until youre 40 and then you result to e-harmony. And oh my God, what about this double standard we have to live up to? We are expected to all be hott virgins. How the heck did that become the reality? AND how many of us are actually that? Then when you actually succeed in the impossible and don't give it up, your rep is still shot. We just cannot win. I like to compare it to an old childhood favorite--Candyland. Its almost as if [we] get stuck in Gloppy the Molasses Monster's (which is ironically enough, a depicted as a male character) gooey, sticky, controlling, yet delicious substance and we can't get out. One little taste, and you're stuck. What a gentleman. It may be a ridiculous analogy, but I think it can work. Basow tried to be nice about it and say that women do have roles outside the kitchen, but
its all enviornmental. You see these horticultural and industrial societies where women play bigger roles, but it is based off of their child-bearing capibilities. Sometimes I wish that movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger, Emma Thomson and Danny DeVito (fantastic cast) was realistic. Our role in society is completely revolved around the fact that women can bear children and men cannot. I wish just for one day the whole male population on earth (sans the underpriveledged who have enough to deal with) could get a little taste of what it is like to feel the social pressures of looking perfect all the time, to have the to have unwanted sex, to have the risk of becoming pregnant from unwanted sex, to have a time of the month, to understand why biologically we are so emotional, and to bear children and give birth. I'm not one to sit there and cry "oh woe is me," but reading Basow and other authors in this class get me a little steamed about how it is so difficult for women...all the time! On the same note, we are working on our project in which we decided to focus on women's roles cross-culturally and it annoys me even more when I see the roles of women in Latin America, the Middle East, small tribes in Africa, etc. And we think we have it bad...at least we aren't plhysically forced to perform unwanted tasks. I don't know what seems more terrifying: to have 8 babies because your husband wants his offspring to continue his "good genes," to be considered property of your husband and you are used at his disposal fully aware that he is having an (or several) affairs, or to be a the mother of a bastard child (not to mention that she is continually raped after being circumsized) in whom the father is your country's enemy. You can argue that our society and these environmental factors limit women, but I would have to say that this time the grass is greener (maybe because it is sod in this consumer nation representing fake contentment if you will) on our side.
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