Some quick closing thoughts

I am not a blogger. There were times when I enjoyed writing it more than others. Whether I liked it or not, I do see the value in blogging daily in such a course as Gender and Conflict. When we read about different theories and models, and we need to write about them, it always comes out better when we make it personal. We can use personal experiences, opinions, references in politics or the media...It really has been great. I know that even though this class is over, I will not stop thinking about things through gendered-colored glasses. I also very much enjoyed the semester-long projects. The lit-review, not so much, but presenting and also seeing other students present is just another perspective that is valuable when learning. Even when we were working in our small group, we had differing opinions and experiences and we got into arguements. But that is the point. Healthy debates helps everyone grow and understand others. I have learned so much about different cultures, religions, oppression, feminist theory, media, psychology, and so much more all through gender. I know this is not the best thing to admit, but I admit that I don't absorb everything in a class (ok but if you say you do, you're lying so at least I am honest). This is one class where I feel I have taken so much away from, I will be quoting Tong and Frye for years to come! Before this course, I did consider myself a feminist. Not the crazy, radical that starve themselves or try to castrate the male population. But I do believe in equality, which I do not think we are completely there yet. After this class though, I realize that there is so much more dimension to feminism. It was great to see some boys in the class. Feminism needs informed allies. Who knows? Maybe we will see one of those guys in congress in a few years passing bills for actual equal pay. Until then, I hope that this class impacted them as much as it has impacted me.

Head scarves & Hijabs =/= Oppression

The final presentation was today. We ended with gender and religion. It was spilt into the three main sectors of religion: Hindu, Christian and Islam. Hannah asked me to speak a little about Orthodoxy, but I was caught off guard when I was considered a guest speaker. I just tried to emphasize that just because our faith hasn't really changed since its beginning does not mean that women are oppressed. True, most juristidions of Orthodoxy require women to cover their heads when they enter a monastery or church.
The reason this doesn't feel like oppression to us is because it was all that they knew so they didn't consider it oppression because they had nothing to go off of. Women cannot go behind the iconostasis ( a screen or wall which serves as a stable support for icons and marks the boundary between the nave and the altar or sanctuary) because all of the apostoles were men. And obviosuly, there are no women ministers. This is significant because Orthodoxy is an aposticistic religion meaning that it stems from the apostles. Traditionally, women and men are separated (women on the left with the Virgin Mary and men on the right with Christ) during liturgy. Women usually hold jobs of administration assistants, and maintenence of the church. Personally, I do not feel oppressed by my church because it is not about me. It is about our service and devotion to God. Individuality doesn't really matter when we are worshipping. This does not mean that God wants us all to be exactly the same; however, when we are in church, faith and heart matter, not a nice hairdo or a pretty dress. The only thing that does totally urk me is that women can never visit Mount Athos, one of the holiest places on earth. It seems unfair, but the rationale is that women would be a threat in the monastism and a distration to the pure. Personally, I believe that we should be allowed to be pilgrims just like males, and if monks are distracted, then they obviosuly are not as fully devout as they seem. And I am not judging, but I feel that if we piosly entered just as the rest, why should it matter what sex we are? Overall though, I don't feel any need to complain about where I and my fellow woman stand (literally) in the Orthodox church.
The Muslim women are also seen to the western world as oppressed by their dress. The Hijab for some does mean oppression, while for others it means freedom and liberation. One woman in an interview said that she can be seen for her internal qualities when she wears her hijab because she cannot be judged by her appearance. Just like in the youtube clip we showed in our presentation about culture and Opera was trying to encourage women to not wear them because they are oppressing themselves, oppression is seen in the eyes of the beholder.
So like in Orthodoxy, it is all that the Muslum women know, so they do not see it as oppression. Sometimes it is hard not to stare, but the least we can do is not judge. Everyone is fighting their own battle and we don't know anyone's story, so we can't judge.
One I feel like we can judge because it seems absolutely insane is the caste system. Truth though, we can't judge that either. Though the Love Commandos article was a little unnerving, there is plenty of research that argues that arranged marriages are sometimes more successful than marrying for love. Toria made a good point. Sad but true, a marriage is a legal agreement which has financial benefits. She mentioned that even though we marry for love here, it is still a financial agreement that may not be as balanced as the arranged ones. Love can't pay the bills. Arranged marriages have the potential to.

When Harry Met Sally. Classic.

Today was a boring, lazy Saturday afternoon. As I was flipping through the channels for something mindless to watch, I came across the travel channel. Food paradise was on and they were doing a special on best sandwiches in the United States. Of course amongst them was Primanti Brothers in Pittsburg where they stuff the sides (french fries and coleslaw) in the sandwich. However, the reason for this post is not to ramble about how delicious a Primanti sandwich is (though I could if that was the assignment). Another famous sandwich shoppe is the one where Sally has a fake orgasm in "When Harry Met Sally." Katz Deli is in New York City (center of the universe according to Angel). After they replayed that scene in the Food Paradise episode, I decided to watch the movie in its entirety. I never thought about Harry's critique of co-ed relationships the way I am after this course. From this point on in this post, I'm just going to throw some quotes out there.
The famous, men and women cannot be friends according to Harry:
Harry Burns: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally Albright: Why not?
Harry Burns: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally Albright: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: You only think you do.
Sally Albright: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry Burns: No, what I'm saying is they all WANT to have sex with you.
Sally: They do not!
Harry: Do too.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: How do you know?
Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
Sally: What if THEY don't want to have sex with YOU?
Harry: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
Sally: Well, I guess we're not going to be friends then.
Harry: I guess not.
Sally: That's too bad. You were the only person I knew in New York.
Now that I think about it...nope I still disagree with Harry. I have had friends of the opposite sex since I was little. In fact, my best friends growing up were all boys. I did and still do have friends that I am not attracted to. But Harry says that its more for men than women. And, now looking back on it, it wasn't all of my friends, but sometimes the boys that I spent a lot of time with did show some non-friendly interactions. Middle school and my early years of high school I really had no interest in dating or any of that nonsense stuff. As far as I was concerned, boys still had cooties. Hopefully my pre-pubescent guy friends weren't thinking as graphically as Harry says they do, but eventually, there was some sexual tension. Ok Harry, but Sally still proved that women fake orgasms on occasion (and probably more often than males would like to know).
And to answer the question on the cover of the (once VHS) movie: "Can two friends sleep together and still love each other in the morning?" my analysis makes me believe that they were never really friends, just intended lovers too stubborn to admit it for years.

You're not woman enough to pee here

I have really been waiting for this presentation all semester. The girls started with some definitions and terms. Then they explained the Kinsey scale a bit and how it is not fluid. This is very frustrating because only allows for 2 genders. One author we read from I forget who but he said that there are actually 5 genders represented in tribes in Indonesia. I am really unfamiliar with any gender besides the mainstream male and female. Toria and her girlfriend have been working with our professor to design a new model which allows for more freedom in terms of "genderizing." So there are three pieces: identity, expression, and attribution. And the idea is that this model allows for fluid change. Each part has 5 lines in which you fill in M for male, F for female or 0 for nothing. To sum it up, identity is who you believe you are, expression is how you show others who you are, and attribution is how others see you. According to this model, these things can constantly change. One day, you can feel like you are expressing more feminine traits and another day, more masculine. I know they said there is a neutral piece to it, but I just don't see it. I don't see how you can feel like you are nothing some days. Even after Celia's explanation of parenting and gender, I still don't really understand that part. They said they have a lot of work to do with this model still but the fact that new ideas can arise from this about gender is such an exicitng thing to hear about!

When I first heard about the transgendered population here at Juniata, I didn't really think much of it. Leave them alone, they aren't hurting anyone. Well, eventually, it became a bigger issue when Andie started using the girl bathrooms on campus. Just so as not to cause bigger problems, my solution would be just for those 5 minutes you use the facilities, use the boys'. Then, I became better friends with Toria and Andie, and heard their story a little. Andie said she isn't transgendered to make a statement, she said she feels wrong thinking herself as a male. She says it just doesn't feel right and its hard everyday when people say she is male. She has also said that if she could change to fit what her gender is, she would. Andie says that biological sex is just plumbing and it shouldn't be the single defining factor of someone's gender. She doesn't want to be a burden and feel different all the time. My heart broke a little after hearing Andie talk about this to our class where some people just don't understand. I don't think they are trying to be mean, but it is just such a foreign idea to them that it seemed like they were attacking Andie at some points. I adore Andie and Toria. I am always so astounded by how brave these two are. Despite the harsh looks and loud whispers, they refuse to change to fit the norms. I admire their courage so much and wish them only the best in their future.

4 Poems

When I Was Growing Up- Wong writes about a young Chinese girl in America. She talks about the things she is proud of and the things she is ashamed of. She wants to be white, clean, fit in...She despises her Chinese culture. She sees that as her oppression. This is a perfect example of Cudd's research about oppression by choice. Cudd argues that society constructs oppression and the oppressed reinforce it by allowing themselves to feel like they they deserve to be oppressed because they are in some way different. She is allowing all of the parts she hates about herself and her culture continue to fight against her. Instead of embracing her beauty and traditions, she sees them as obstacles. Going back to our presentation about Culture, this piece is similar to the one we had the class read about the Asian American women. They succumb to the norms and stereotypes the county bestows upon them and instead of fighting against these unfair claims, they just go right along with it. So does Wong's character here. We even talked in our presentation about grouping smaller cultures together by geographic location and appearances. There is a part in the poem where she says "when I was growing up, people would ask if I were Filipino, Polynesian, Portuguese." She doesn't even carry her own identity of Chinese, she is simply bunched together with other non-white populations. This is so sad because Philippines have different culture to China to Japan, etc. and every time we group people together like that, we are disregarding all the differences in the separate cultures, robbing them of their individual beauties.

The Bridge Poem- Rushin's character is tired of being used. She feels like the token black person, the communicator and fitting all of the stereotypes bestowed upon her and her group. I can't relate to Rushin. I have never been the token person for any group really. I can sympathize with her and see her pain in trying to connect everyone else by being everyone else's bridge. I just hope besides feeling these emotions, she acts on them and remembers to think about her own journey. She says it, but she needs to actually take those steps to freeing herself. It goes back to oppression by choice in a way. Once she disconnects herself as the bridge for others, she can start building her own for her own future.

And when you leave, take your pictures with you- the first thing that came to mind when this poem was read out loud was that image of the ltook a little girl in I think it was Vietnam. It was right after a raid and the little girl was on fire, running away from the napalm, crying and screaming for her mother. The photographer picture of Kim Phuc, and then only after he got his treasure which was sure to win him a Pulitzer Prize, did he throw his water on her searing wounds. Nick Ut, American reporter and photographer, got Kim to an American hospital in Saigon, where she made a full recovery. This piece reminded me of Kim because Nick took his picture, became famous, but also saved her life. Carrillo in this poem seems to show a little resentment to the photographers of the world who are trying to reveal the truth to the blind. I don't think it is all bad to want to present what is happening overseas to others. I can see what she is feeling in terms of credibility and reasoning for doing things. People ultimately do everything they can for themselves. Even acts of kindness can have ulterior motives. We want to help the orphans and the homeless, but we also want to make it our facebook profile picture so people can see what good we are doing with our time. I do it too. I would like to be able to say that it is completely selfless and I don't do it at all for the glory. I try not to, but when others see what you are doing and praise you for it, it is very difficult to be humble. I have countless pictures of orphans, homeless people, hungry, etc. that I unfortunately never helped. My photos are not pulitzer prize worthy or anything but when others see them, they see that I and others are trying to help. Oh what good things you are doing. Oh, God is pleased. Oh, you should be so proud of yourself... No. I don't want to be proud. I just want to help. But even Kim and Jo see people like me as a threat and as the bad guy. We just want our pictures, a few hours with the less fortunate and then we are gone. What Jo doesn't know is that I have a very special place in my heart for all that I have witnessed and helped. Nick saved Kim's life. Now she has a family and a life. I can't say I saved anyone's life, but I know that some remember me and I remember all of them. I just hope we are helping in the right way.

I help because-
I help but we're not oppressed. white, middle-class, heterosexual females.
So am I helping because I am privileged?
Mommy and Daddy always taught me to treat others the way you want to be treated.
Do I help because I feel bad, because I can and I think I should?
I am an able woman with two strong hands and willing heart.
Am I an ally because I am pained when I see others being mistreated or struggling for unfair reasons?
They are my friends.
I am not sick, but I am still in the fight against cancer.
You look at race, gender, sexuality, age, intelligence...
but never see passion, love, desire for peace, happiness, tranquility. heart.

Cultural Hurdles

Our group presented today. Our topic was the depiction of gender in the media across cultures. We asked the class to read three readings about real life cases where gender plays a role in the culture. All three got good responses. There were several moments today throughout our presentation where someone's opinion was not relevant to what we were discussing. We chose to work with the medium of media, because that is where a lot of influence comes from in terms of how others view a country/culture. Just because we said these things does not mean we agree with it. I don't think any of us from my group like to see the oppression of any one culture, but the point of our presentation wasn't to share our thoughts and opinions about how we want world peace starting with gender..no. It was about how Opera talks to women who wear head coverings and tells them they are being oppressed, when really they like where they are in life. It is all they know, so how can we call it oppression when they don't know otherwise? One person in the class was really getting on my nerves when they were saying that someone in their family is Asian and she is treated like any other American woman. Well great for her! Disagree with us, fine..But, don't sit there are tell us that our research is wrong because you know one person that doesn't fit the Asian American box. Like I said, I don't like knowing that Asian women are treated very differently here in the United States. Regardless of how I feel about it, it is still going on. The same goes for the big movement in Africa. American Evangelicals went there to promote terrorizing the homosexual populations. The first time I heard about this happening, I thought I was reading some fictional story in the newspaper. Then, the day before our presentation, it was on the home page of CNN.com that a bill was considered for passing to make it constitutional to harass those who fail to comply with straight heterosexual standards. Even though I am not Evangelical and I think how they campaign for people to convert is insane, I still felt embarrassed that these people were representing the United States in such a sick manner. My church doesn't believe in homosexuality (one point where me and Orthodoxy differ a bit) but we also don't go spreading hate amongst the impressionable. After our presentation, I became more interested in this topic, so I did some research of my own. When I saw headlines like Hang the Homos, I was astounded. Whether we as individuals or large groups agree with something or not is one thing, but it is another to act upon those emotions of distaste and hatred. The final article we sent out was about Ugly Betty and Latinos. Ugly Betty was the first Latina woman to be seen as something other than the stereotypical, hott and fiery woman. Then the article makes the comparison about how Latino men or men of any race can have different roles and have co-stars of different ethnic backgrounds. They can also have a girl of any color/race. This is rarely seen in the opposite direction. Why is that? I think our presentation went well and only continues to support the argument that life is a little less fair for women.

Black Friday Blues (& black and blues)

In the wee hours of the morning I dread most (well, besides mornings of finals), my sister starts "putting on her face" as I'm rolling out of bed. Traffic isn't bad at 1:30am, just gotta deal with the trucks and other crazy bargain shoppers. Our first stop was David's bridal, looking for a Madrigal dress for me that cost less than a 1/3 of what its real value is. All the wedding gowns were on sale, and there were crazed brides with their mothers' arms full of 50% off dresses. We even met this one girl that said she isn't even engaged, she just knows her boyfriend is going to propose this holiday season, and she thinks its best to take advantage of these sales now, because they aren't gonna wait for her "slow-poke-future-hubby." Nothing like jumpin the gun on one of the most important decisions of someone's life (I hope he buys her a diamond and not a plane ticket to the other coast for himself). We weren't impressed to see that none of the brides maid, evening, or cocktail dresses were on sale. To make a long story/day seem short (I have to make this a short post, because I have to continue to help wrap our treasures from black friday), I found a dress at Macy's (we weren't disappointed in their department store like we were with their parade) for about a 1/3 of its original price--or as my dad would say what it was probably worth to begin with. In my observations, I found it interesting to see the ratio of male to female shopping on this day. For the most part, the males were dads with their older children (usually pre-teen girls). Females ranged from girls who shop in the Limited-too (I'm sorry its Justice now) who think they are mature enough to shop without mommy, to older ladies shopping for young husbands and boyfriends, to girls our age out with their mothers trying to kills all the birds with one stone and get for everyone together on the same day. My observations led me to believe that dads took their (usually female) children out with them for help. They admit they can't browse through clearance racks and find deals or understand when they aren't getting ripped off on a certain product ($50 for a stainless steel tea pot what a steal! NOT). Whenever we come home from a shopping excursion (and I am not a big fan of them either), we are really excited to show mom the deals we found. Dad just rolls his eyes and says the best way to save money is to not spend any. What he fails to ever note is the fact that he needs new suits and pants and stuff sometimes too which entails spending money. Deals or not, underwear doesn't last forever. We didn't see any fights over things, but we saw minimal slow browsing. Instead, we saw the throwing (I embellish tossing aside) of final shoe sales and buy one get one earrings all over the place. To sum up our adventures of black Friday, there were no casualties between my sister and I. After some delicious Olive Garden artichoke dip and apple cobbler, we safely headed home to hear our mom praise us for doing well while dad just sits there and rolls his eyes.

Food, Football & Fun

Thanksgiving is a great time to observe your family and the different gender roles they fall into. Our Thanksgiving is spent with our neighbors who we consider part of the family. Cooking usually begins the day before. My sister and I go next door to help with the bulk of the meal, the turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, mashed carrots, parsnips, turnips, you know the works. I don't think anyone would be surprised to hear that my sister and I helped our female neighbor (she is like an aunt to us) with these preparations. Meanwhile, our mother was next door pealing and slicing a bundle of golden delicious for some good old homemade apple pie. Our father isn't around for the festivities that go along with preparation, because his excuse is his work comes when the turkey needs to be carved. Strenuous work that must be, if it is the equivalent to how much the rest of the laborers in the kitchen do. So Thanksgiving morning rolls around, and after a very disappointing Macy's Day Parade, we start getting everything in the oven. My sister and I were also involuntarily chosen (though I'm not complaining) to polish the silver, set the table, and serve the hors d'oeuvres (your basic three-cheese and cracker platter with some healthy fruity wines on the side). I can't say if those chores are attributed to the fact that we are the only children. I often wonder the way chores would be distributed if there was a male sibling in the mix. And sadly, I will never fully understand the inner-workings of the Hatch family. Anyways, our other neighbor who joined us for Thanksgiving dinner is a vegetarian, so he brought over some vegan spinach casserole. Throughout the day (before, during and after dinner), three football games known as the Turkey Bowl are on. My dad and our neighbor watched the games on and off all day. I was just interested in watching the pats, cowboys and get crushed by the various opponents. After appetizers and dinner, the ladies would clean up while the adult males would return to glue their faces to the television. When delicious apple and pumpkin pies were devoured, we played some goofy games of Apples to Apples, Cranium, and all those other games that make you mad at the members of your family (in a good way of course). In all the games we played, you could see the gendered answers. It was neat to see what was honorable or breath-taking to a woman as opposed to a man's answers (referencing Apples to Apples). Our neighbor was an artist who had the amazing opportunity to live in Italy for a few years and study art there. This kind of threw a monkey wrench into your stereotypical male answers. I recall a the adjective being "beautiful" and my dad put something down along the lines of reliable technology (engineer nerd). My mom and sister had things like rainbows and waterfalls. Our neighbor put down Michelangelo (flaunting his intelligence by adding the rest of his name "di Lodovico Buonarroti Simoni") obviously influenced more by his history in Italy than his Y chromosome. It is always interesting to go home and see how apparent the gender roles really are in my house after taking this course for a while now.

Oppression & the birdcage-- we're all just Tweetys and Woodstocks

Where do I even start with oppression? Women, African American, poor, old...forget it is you are a poor, African American grandma. What we seem to ignore is the thought that anyone can be oppressed/the oppressor. We talked about Frye and her theory of the birdcage. The idea is an analogy about a bird cage. To really examine one rung/wire on a cage, we must solely focus on this one part. When we do that, we neglect the other parts of the cage. The same can be said about oppression. There are a myriad of roots which oppression stems from (race, gender, age, social status, etc.), but it is difficult, if not nearly impossible, to pinpoint them all. Some of these are personal barriers, while others are systematically constructed by society to oppress. Anyway you look at it, and whether you want to admit it or not, unless you are like Oprah or Trump and used your oppression in your success story (I mean no disrespect to either), we're all just Tweetys and Woodstocks in our own little birdcage. Some of us may have more luxurious quarters with a perch and fancy mirror, but we're all still behind bars. Think about it. Look at the discrimination in the workforce, or the societal hierarchy. The higher levels keep the lower levels in place with these invisible barriers of money or power or whatever may be the case. And then, we could think about the allies of the oppressed and how much they risk to advocate and fight for them. If the allies had status and credibility before, they are risking the chance of being demoted or disrespected from the in-groups. They can attempt to use their privilege to give a voice to the silent oppressed, but it may not fair well for anyone. I argued earlier that we are all oppressors too. How could a black woman be the oppressor, you ask? Well even if you didn't, think about a place where a Caucasian man could be a minority. It is becoming more equal now, but the NBA was not nearly as mixed in the past. There were and still are so many jokes about white boys slam dunking from the foul line and foul shots from the high post (I watch the Steelers, gimmie a break (or a kit-kat would do) with all this basketball terminology junk). Thinking back to a personal experience, I have been out of the country several times. This makes the opportunity for oppression pretty blatantly obvious. But even in the states, it isn't as rare at it seems. I had to get my Ecuadorian Visa in Newark, NJ (insert large groan here). As my dad and I were searching for the consulate (which ended being located in a sketchy government building with a hair salon on the bottom floor), I couldn't help but feel as if every pair of eyes on Ridge Street or wherever we were we on us. For one of the few times in my life, I was the minority, and my race rung in my birdcage was very apparent. Then another rung was coming more into focus when when we finally got to the consulate and no one was from this country, nor did they speak English, i felt the power dynamic very strongly. They were talking about me as if I wasn't there or at least assumed I didn't speak Spanish. This didn't cause any physical harm, but it certainly pulled on some psychological strings. Any form of oppression is dangerous and harmful to someone. The scary thing is that as a whole, we are ignorant to how influential our actions can be to one another both on a micro and macro scale. Ignorance is bliss, unless you are inside the birdcage in which case, it just sucks.

Sharing is caring

Sharing is caring. For men, that means partners, and for women that means just about everything except partners. From lip gloss to secrets and everything in between, there isn't much girlfriends don't know about each others lives. The funny thing is, boys do not realize this, even if we do it in front of them. In a small community like, say..Juniata, it is impossible to keep anything from anyone. Remember Widman's hookup culture talk? Well, let's face it, this educational institution is breeding ground for that. Like I have said before, here at Juniata College (and probably at any other small school like it) if you don't have a serious relationship (I'm talking 1 carat beauties), you are chronically single. There should have been a disclaimer on the application. Warning: You are about to enter another dimension. A dimension not only of ridiculous educational standards and expectations, but of the social experience. A journey into a wondrous land of the hookup culture. Next stop, the chapel to get married or plentyoffish.com! So, this next little story really is no exaggeration of the ugly truth that occurs regularly on 1700 Moore Street (though we all don't technically live ON 17th street). A really good friend of mine (pseudo name Sammy) was kind of seeing this guy (pseudo name Guy) and a few of us were hanging out at my place one night. When Sammy left, and I went to the kitchen to get to get my six layer tortilla dip (only appropriate for a Steelers win), Guy moved onto the other couch and started hitting on my other friend who is also Sammy's best friend (pseudo name Maggie). There isn't even a door between my living room and kitchen. This is how dense the male population is here! So, I am not one to meddle, but I know when the opportune moments are to fake a girl emergency (something that literally makes men run for the hills). Maggie isn't one to play her friends for fools and she wasn't into Guy anyways, plus she must abide by the girls' code. She sent a carrier pigeon right away to South 555, and Sammy just shrugged it off. Guy and Sammy had a great time that weekend and Sammy silently forgave Guy for being a guy and hitting on her best friend. During the course of that week, Guy started texting Maggie. Maggie obviously obeyed the rules of feminism and shared this knowledge with Sammy (and me, even though I don't matter to the equation). Instead of flying off the handle like most irrational college co eds, Sammy and I came up with a little social experiment. With no control group necessary, we all three kept quiet and allowed Guy to continue digging his own ostracized grave. He continued texting Maggie and Sammy at the same time, sometimes with the exact same messages. That Saturday night, Maggie was "having a good time" with Guy dancing and everything. They head for Maggie's room when they get into a conversation about how Guy and his buds share girls all the time. First of all, no girl is anyone's property. Secondly, sloppy seconds are not only okay but encouraged for guys? What?! After a more heated conversation, Maggie leaves a drunk Guy to fend for himself. Once he figured out that he was busted, he started texting me asking where Maggie or Sammy was to make sure they weren't together. It is interesting that guys think they could get away with something like that, as if girls don't talk. Girls may share lots of things, but ex-boyfriends are not one of them.

I'd prefer to mow the lawn anyway

The fine gentlemen that presented today on the topic of relationships and roles (focusing mainly on the heterosexual, middle class, white family) showed lots of charts and (skewed) statistics. They even created a survey to see what the Juniata population thought about different family roles. According to their results, the majority of the female population on campus want or are currently in an egalitarian relationship with their significant other. Most of the same students said that their parents held the more traditional roles in the household. I would say that my parents fall between the two. My father does bring home the bacon, but we wouldn't be able to have any luxuries or be living comfortably if my mom did not provide the second income for the family. There is a mutual respect amongst my parents for all that they contribute, both monetarily and the tasks of the household. In regards to tasks of our household, I would say that my sister and I actually do (or did before we graduated and went to colleges too far away to be able to contribute to the home chores) more. We did the dishes, our own laundry by age 10 (now, when we go home for breaks, it is a treat when our mother says she will do our laundry), vacuuming, dusting, mowing the lawn (well we live in the woods, so its more like mowing the ferns), raking, snow shoveling, dog washing, the list goes on. We didn't get an allowance (but we didn't go without much), but this was our parents way of showing us responsibility. Since it is just my sister and I and no brothers, we do everything inside and out. I often wonder if we did have any brothers, how the chores would be divided up. But, looking at how my parents split things up, like I said it is a healthy balance of egalitarian and traditional roles. Mom cooks most of the time, but dad is more of a chef on the holidays and special occasions. It is kind of funny, because sometimes our dad would be in a super good mood and just decide to make a big healthy breakfast of pancakes, bacon, eggs, fruit, orange juice and coffee. For no reason in particular, he would do this, but at the same time kind of expect all this praise that he did something that wasn't in his list of things to do. He kinda of has this attitude every time he cooks, which eludes to the fact that he is doing something extra and wants recognition haha! Our mother tells us that she could change a tire if she needed to, but that is what AAA is for (why else would we be paying them ridiculous amounts of money, if we were just going to change the tire ourselves). I think the big take-home piece is that it does not matter who does what, as long as there is a mutual respect and the person wants to be doing said chore. I think it is totally acceptable for the wife to do the laundry and iron her husband's clothes, as long as it is her choice and her husband isn't forcing or disrespecting her to do it. For me, if I ever do decide to get married, I would like to think that everything would have a very egalitarian approach. Taking turns with everything and sharing responsibility sounds for appealing. But at the same time, this isn't to say that the traditional thing works for some people. Who is to say what is right and wrong for anyone? The United States does it all the time to other cultures, but just because we do it, does not make our actions right. We must decide what is good and beneficial for our relationships and have respect for others and their differences.

Sex ed: 5th grade or senior year?

For me, it was 11th grade. And the 1st activity was write any words on the board that come to mind when you hear the word "sex." Being the immature, little highschoolers we were, who would giggle at the words penis and pubic hair, there were some colorful expressions and phrases written on the chalk board(we're talking pre-white board days). The problem was, by 10th grade, most kids, or at least a good amount of them, were already sexually active. Prevention talks, STI stories, and gruesome photos weren't gonna stop it once it started. The group that presented explained the different types of sex education, and I would consider ours to be more on the side of comprehensive sexuality education, which is more along the lines of safe sex, education of contraception, but on the same token highly encouraging abstinence. Eventually the school caught on that we were learning/they were educating a little too much a little too late. Each year, Health class had a different topic. One year it was nutrition, another focused on balanced lifestyle (mind, body, soul deal), etc. After several tens of babies, the district realized that sex ed in 11th grade didn't seem very valuable. They finally revamped the program, and now sex ed is in the 9th grade curriculum. Now, there are a few less preggos walking at graduation, but the number will probably never be zero again.

"Don't have sex, or your junk will fall off." "Do it and you WILL get AIDs and die." :If you have sexual intercourse, you will turn into a martian." Whether we are for or against abstinence-only programs isn't the issue. The fact that matters is that there are schools out there that are downright lying to their students. Fine if you want to hold off on letting the students know how their plumbing works; if schools don't teach, the second best classroom also known as the school bus will certainly shed some light on the situation. Not fine to lie to them though.

My personal opinion is the younger the better. I'm not saying parents should give them the 411 and rip out the diagrams the minute their kids are out of diapers; BUT at the same time, they shouldn't wait until their boys are using condoms as bookmarks for Playboy either. There is a danger in keeping the truth from children. I am sure "the talk" is just as uncomfortable for the listener as it is for the lecturer, but there are dire repercussions. The following story has not been fabricated or altered from the truth in any way. One afternoon on the way home from school, one of my friend's younger sisters overheard the word unspeakable word on the bus. She asked her brother and I what it meant. We didn't want to be the bearers of gross news, so we told her to ask her mother. The educated mom came up with what she thought would be brilliant plan to avoid the colorful vocabulary and the look of distaste she could just picture on her daughter's face when she revealed the ugly truth. So, she told her naive, yet literal little (let's call her Jane) Jane that "sex was a special hug you share with someone you love very much." If there aren't 100 different ways you could interpret that... So, our naive little Jane went to school the next day and "shared a special hug" but called it "having sex" with several of her very good friends. Obviously this led to some issues and Jane found herself in the principal's office. I actually don't recall how this story ended, because when my friend told me about it, I was literally "ROTFL" (and I hate acronyms). Like I have implied in several other posts, I don't want kids, so I can avoid this whole awkward conversation. And if that changes, I'll just make sure I research the sexuality education curriculum of the district we chose to live in.

The American Soldier: off the front lines & behind the scenes

As a nation, we are very proud of "our boys" overseas who fight for the greater good. They have what most would consider the most difficult and dangerous job in the world. They risk their lives for justice everyday. They are strong-willed, good wholesome American boys. This is the image the media gives us of our military men. What they tend to overlook is a sad and hidden truth of the lives of the same men who appear to be defending our country off duty.

Its no new news to me that rape is used as a war tactic overseas. When men rape the innocent women of a village it shows the power they hold not only to their victims but to the population (men) they are threatening to annihilate. What surprised all of us was the discovery of how US militia treat women soldiers. The same men that are defending our country are raping or sexually abusing American women soldiers. The scary thing is that these women have everything against them. They can't report it, because the men that are committing these acts are of higher rank. Who is going to believe a punch of sissy girls? Their argument is if you can't handle war, every aspect of it, then get out. This would only strengthen their case that women don't belong in the military. What stinks is that it seems women can't handle it because of the obvious "we're too emotional, not strong enough blah blah nonsense" but the reality is that rape drives women out more than the media lets on. We read a few articles about women's experiences in the army and their stories are not all happy endings. Most are more traumatized about what has happened them in the barracks than in the field. Being forced to have sexual intercourse with a comrade is more frightening than seeing death and hell on a daily basis. wow. Then there is the whole issue that women that want to join the military are setting themselves up for danger. Its that whole "they had it comin'" or "they asked for it" bull. I have never been in an army bunk house or anything, but I'm pretty sure women are not wearing little nighties and or launderette around. In fact, there are certain rules for female soldiers such as no make up, tie hair back, and basically expect a less extreme version masculation. Women don't enroll in any branch of the military to objectify themselves or meet men just like it would be unfair to assume that men become nurses so they can meet women caretakers (though that may be the motivation for some). Those assumptions not only undermine their goals, it disrespects an individual's character. Hopefully, most people are in the profession of their choice because of some internal drive or passion. But its human nature to think negatively of one another and fabricate ulterior motives. God bless America.

The other big piece of war and gender is suicide bombers. When we think of what a suicide bomber would look like or who would be the best candidate, we generally think middle eastern, middle-aged, male. However, recently statistics have been changing a little and now more than 5% of suicide bombers are women. The main argument there is that the women that sign up for that have already lost husbands and sons in war so they have no more to live for. It is basically claiming that they are victims. If that is the case we are making more assumptions. This validates the stereotypes of women's main responsibilities in the home and taking care of the family. Now we are talking about over in the Middle East; things here in the US may be a little different. But the theory remains that when women have no one to tend to, they have nothing more to live for and...that's all she wrote. They are denied the image of country hero who wants to defend their country. Personally I think suicide is simple wrong. For personal issues or your country, I don't think that it is ever in our hands to take your own (or anyone else's...but that is a whole 'nother topic for a different day) life. Regardless of my personal beliefs, the fact remains that women suicide bombers should be treated just as suicide bombers (notice you don't even need to note that they are men..its assumed) are. It isn't even about suicide bombing as much as it is the right and honor of fighting for your country for these women. Why aren't the men in war ever seen as victims? Don't we all hurt from any loss?

Human Trafficking: it's just a BAD romance

We started our presenatations this week, and kicked 'em off with human trafficking. There's nothing like diving into the deepend without floaties. I really enjoyed this group's take on such a delicate topic. We started class with a dark and impactful film and ended playing Candyland: Human Trafficking edition (I don't think Milton & Bradley will be calling them for the rights on that one anytime soon). Amongst all the valuable information the group presented, the thing that stuck with me most was the idea that it can and does happen to anyone. Take "Taken" for example. Those girls were U2 groupies one minute and drugged sex slaves the next. ::Insert shivers here:: Granted these naiive Americans were a little daft to share a cab with a complete and foreign stranger. Abide by the same principles your mommy taught you when you were 5: attractive or not, don't talk to strangers! I have lived in a few foreign countries. When I was in Ecuador, my friends and I would go on weekend excusions to climb some of the highest peaks in the world, visit the beautiful beaches of the country, and even take 15 hour bus rides as a gamble for a good weekend. I wouldn't say we were careless and made any hasty decisions. I also wouldn't say I didn't meet new people which entails talking to strangers. Ok, so I kinda bent my own rules. And we had a really good time. But looking back on it, there were probably select moments where we could have been the stars in the horrific sequel. I'll thank God for my atheist friends and me for lookin out for us and keeping us safe during our stay in Ecuador. My sister is studying abroad in Italy next semester. I am so excited for her while at the same time terrified...the latter of emotions I should have felt when I was abroad. It scares me that she doesn't really speak the language, or understand the cultural differences, not to mention that she couldn't pass as an Itaiana (there's just too much eastern european blood in us) and she's not an ugly girl. These things worry me. On the same token, she's not a stupid girl and she's got a real good head on her shoulders. Its just my role as the bossy, big sister to be concerned. I still hope there's no romance--good or bad--overseas for my too-young-to-date sister.

And then there's the other way to think about Human Trafficking. Our high school musical a few years back was "Thoroughly Modern Millie." For the broadway-impaired, Millie is a story about a girl who escapes to New York City to follow her dreams in the roaring 20's. During her journey, she meets the hotel proprietress, Mrs. Meers, who also is highly
involved with a white slavery ring in Hong Kong. Her character is depicted in a mysterious yet comical air. She sings a song about how witty she is in tricking the girls. "So welcome all ye bright young ladies; You're checking into Hotel Hades; I won't stand by while critics praise ya; You're getting shipped to Southeast Asia." And she says it in such a cynical manner (not that I know anything about cynicsm) the audience goes wild. A clever play on words makes even the darkest of deals light-hearted fun. And to add insult to injury, the scene ends with Meers' minions pushing a laundry cart with a limp arm half-hazardly hanging out. But I guess it's okay to mock reality when its continents away.

To end with a bang, here's two words: Lady Gaga. The first time we all heard what we thought was going to be a one-hit wonder, it was just a catchy tune with some wierd baby noises rah rah ramen noodles... By the third time, at least to an amateur critic (that's my backup plan if this whole college thing becomes too much and I decide to drop out in my last semester), the lyrics begin to have meaning. Put those words to a dance in a bath house during an international auction and you've got a pretty powerful message. Just in case you haven't seen it 100 times too many: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrO4YZeyl0I
Case in point, maybe Gaga is a golden opportunity for speading these important messages. Who better to tell the truth than a world renowned pop star sensation like this meat-dress (that can't be kocher) wearing diva?

Even after the Civil War & the 14th Amendment...

After reading Cole's "Commonalities and Differences," I started thinking more along the lines of culture. When you look at someone who is ethnically Asian, it is fairly common to call them Chinese. The same thing happens with Hispanics, its easy to make cultural assumptions and call them all Mexicans. Not only is this absolutely disrespectful, its unfair. It robs someone of a part of their identity. But what is cultural identity worth anyway? Cole states that stereotypes drive how women are thought of as a whole. Her research shows that on average, women are more likely to be asked (in a non-condescending way of course) if they type but men are rarely questioned about such preferences. My favorite, and apparently Cole's too, is whenever a man and woman are in an argument and the woman makes a fair point, the man comes up with the witty comeback of "ok, ok don't get hysterical," making it seem like she is emotional and irrational all at once. (We can never win.) This article also describes how our society clumps all women together. It doesn't matter if you are black, white, southern, Asian American; all women are generalized as not as capable human beings. Look at Bradwell vs. Illinois. Myra Bradwell was a married woman in Chicago who was not applicable to be a lawyer for the sole reason that she doesn't have the Y chromosome. That imposed homogeneity deprives women of their individuality and in turn their chance to break social norms and become whatever they want to be. After most of the readings and discussions in this class, and just simple observation and even personal experience, I truly believe that our culture is constructed to make it more difficult for women to succeed anywhere except the home. I work in the development office here on campus and I deal with a lot of alum documentation. Most female Juniata grads, married, usually to a fellow Juniatian, (70% of us marry each other--stats don't lie!) or not, reply on our directory questionnaires that they are homemakers meaning they are not utilizing their 40k educations. If I wanted to be a pie-baking, laundry-folding machine, I would go to a big cheap state school, get my Mrs. degree and drop out, fully depending on the mister to bring home the bacon (that I will be frying bright and early in the morning for his breakfast). Never. Even if I can't find my ideal job, I promise you, I will not be cookin' B&Es and homemade waffles for a husband and 3 kids at 6am. I would rather work at McDonald's cookin' McGriddles for paying customers. Author Lord says "When a little girl has had a chance to learn strength, survival tactics, a firm grasp of reality, and an understanding of class oppression from the women around her, it doesn’t remove oppression from her life, but it does give her a fighting chance." When a little boy learns those same things, they gain status and respect. Fighting chance for girls--golden opportunity for boys. (Insert crickets for a moment of pondering here.) To a less extreme degree, women are often treated like slaves. Even after the Civil War and the 14th Amendment was passed, women still experience discrimination and oppression to this day. And they say we learn from history and improve through time. Clearly our nation has more compulsory needs to deal with like Prop 19. Weed rights before women's rights. I am so happy to hear that ladies take the backseat to a synthesized cannabinoid. But of course as a member of the oppressed female race, "I shouldn't get hysterical because I am just overreacting." Right?

Security, and we're not talking about mall cops & military

When some asks you to define security, what is the first thing that comes to mind? On a micro level, there's law enforcement and house alarms while on the macro we have national security and the military. Those are seen more as providing safety, rather than actual security. Look at it on a more personal level. It is more about protection and vulnerability. Genderly speaking, men and women deal with security in very different ways. Men have guns and switchblades and girls carry around pepper spray and bad attitudes. Depending on where we're going, I occasionally pack my colt 54 (the original of course). No, but honestly, all sarcasm aside, I do carry around a pocket knife, and though its intended use is for cutting things like rope and those obnoxious nylon cable ties, I would not hesitate to utilize it if i needed to protect myself. I have never owned pepper spray, though it has been highly recommended when I live in third world countries. I think any woman would be a hypocrite if she stated that she didn't use her bad attitude to get outta one sticky situation or another. And I am no exception. I had a few close calls in Ecuador where I wasn't armed with Rambo (that's my pocket knife's name..actually I just made that up by thinking of the most BA man in the world) and had to play nasty gringa girl. The thing about security is that it needs to be consistent. Men and women alike should feel safe all the time, not just when they are with a bigger group of people or at the county fair, but always. The other day, prior to the security discussion in class, a few of my friends (not in this class) and I had a talk about how security and power go hand in hand. The girls in the discussion explained the concept of the ever-present and underlying fear of going anywhere. Basically no matter where ladies go, there is always the fear in the chance of something bad happening in the back of their minds. This includes places that seem safe and familiar, like on-campus parties. I am not strictly speaking of Juniata, but this college serves as a good model for what happens in universities all over the country. The fact remains that 1 in every 4 girls gets sexually assaulted. These perpetrators are not toothless townies or escape convicts from the maximum security prison down the street (which still kinda freaks me out every time I pass it on the way to wal-mart). They are the fine gentlemen that reside right here on Moore Street. In 1991, there was a reported rape here at Juniata that turned the campus upside down. There were claims made against the perp and the victim. "He would never do that...he is an upstanding young man." "She had it comin'" It was a disaster (the entire story can be found the Sept. 2 '91 issue of The Juniatian). In this case, there was no trust in the accused student nor the legal system supporting the victim. So essentially, there was no security.
Most males feel completely comfortable walking down an alley at night with no fear of danger. Ask females if they concur and you will be hard-pressed to find a positive response. You know what else is really interesting? Ever wonder why they are DARK alleys? Because most of the civil engineers that designed the layout of the cities and towns are men and they did not consider the SAFETY of women. I know this is true because my dad works with some civil engineers (he's an electrical engineer himself) and I had the opportunity to ask them some questions for a similar case study a while back. Statistics show that bystanders are more likely to intervene if they hear someone yell "fire!" instead of "rape." How comforting. I was surfing the web some and stumbled upon several articles about how dark alleys are unsafe for women. I even found a news report of a rape in an alley one block from my grandmother's home where I used to walk all the time to the Turkey Hill to get my Take 5 fix. That hit a little too close to home for me.
I would be lying if I said I don't have that same little "what if" voice in my subconscious constantly. Its innate. Security lies in personal defenses. If you think about any situation, if you are not armed in some way, either with martial arts, or some weapon, what are your chances? You'd be defenseless without security. I mean, I'm no black belt, but I know where to kick.

Halloween: a social experiment

Like all wonderful facebook event descriptions say "Halloween is a night where guys can dress like girls and girls-the less clothes the better- and no one will say anything about it. The discourse lies in how the males either dress up as girls to make fun, or something "sexually clever," both of which are blatantly offensive to the opposite sex. Girls on the other hand wear pieces of material that cover less than some stratigically placed napkins would. And what is the purpose in that, because it certainly isn't offending the males. Clearly, that was rhetorical. We all know what the reason is. I'm not usually one to conform and expose, but I figured I its now or never being my senior year and all. While having a good time, I decided to make this into my personal experiment. Since guys go out to offend others, and girls go out to...well you know, I incorporated both gender aspects of Halloween into my costume. For one night, I went against all and everything I believe in and was Sister Snookie, taking the Jersey Shore and ascetism to a whole new level (may the Lord forgive me in the name of science and research). My friends and I headed out and the experiment began. I felt like I had stumbled into a Britney Spears horror film or Aaron Samuel's halloween party in Mean Girls. Girls were "creatively slutty" with their too-tight dresses and some form of a head garment. Men always want the things they can't have. It is human nature to want to pull the lever that says "do not touch." Well, Halloween night my costume made me a lever. How much more forbidden can it get but with a nun? I embodied that slutty virgin image that I discussed in a previous post. With all the liquid courage in the atmosphere, there were no qualms that people were speaking their minds. Most of the comments I got were very pointed. I met up with some other friends and we were just having a good time, as I was silently snickering. I did this to see what kind of attention girls get on a weekend basis and the behavior between the sexes in such an environment. I also came to the conclusion that trying to be clever and offensive didn't make much of a difference. If you show off your curves, at least at Juniata, most aren't really swift enough to care about the creativity behind it. Guys are horn dogs and some girls enjoy objectifying themselves for a good time. Myth busted. Guys can be offensive but girls will still want to dance with the dumbos. Perhaps the fact that there are 15 females to every one male on campus, makes girls less choosy. Its a dog-eat-dog girl world in here and no one wants to be chronically single.

The Real Message of Disney

When watching any of good old Walt’s animated films, most get that warm and fuzzy feeling deep down that can only be attained through either putting on jeans right after they came out of the dryer or Disney. When one takes a certain Peace and Conflict Studies class with a certain professor who doesn’t feel the same sentiments towards Disney, one realizes the bright colors and goofy characters are all a façade for some pretty dark messages. So, let’s talk about a few. I will start with Snow White and the evil queen from “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs” because that was the example analyzed in class. Snow White: the epitome of all that is good and pure (even from her name, we get this sense of virginity), the extreme opposite of aggressive and strong, the most fragile (in my opinion) of all the Disney princesses (just for the record, Disney did not write/create the story of Snow White, its a Brothers Grimm fairytale). Just look at her in her delicate form, listen to her weak little voice, and understand why said professor doesn’t allow her children to watch this film. She teaches us to ap
ologize for “being a burden,” sing when things are bad and it will make everything better (right, I wish crooning Journey really made all my cares go away), and cook and clean for men. Hm… She physically takes up very little space with her petite body (she can’t be more than a size -2 in waist and maybe like a child’s size 4 in glass slippers). When she is on the screen, light flutes (very nonthreatening instrument) play as she effortlessly glides across the forest floor. Now don’t get me wrong; I don’t think Snow White is entirely full of bad messages. She is nurturing by being a friend to all animals. And look at the animals she befriends—the deer, bunnies, birds, squirrels—cute, cuddly and fuzzy ones. She is quite motherly to the dwarfs. And in the end, she gets a pretty fine prince (is it weird to think Disney characters are attractive? Oh well. If we're goin' there, I'm more of an Aladdin fan to be honest.) But for the purpose of playing devil’s advocate, Snow White is a bad example for little girls—don’t let your kids watch her or you are a bad parent. Pretty soon little 6 yr. olds are going to be apologizing when a boy knocks their books out of their hands (and watch, in 15 years, that same boy will be the girl’s prince charming because that is just how this world works), and 25 yr olds will be apologetic for national debt! You know what, I even caught myself saying sorry to someone as we both grabbed for the door at the same time. Why?! I blame her. So, thank you Snow White for creating a contrite universe for women.

Now what about the opposite of our sweet little protagonist? Does the evil queen represent anything good about femininity? On the contrary, she actually embodies many masculine traits. Her head garment, restricts us from seeing her hair (or maybe she is just going through chemotherapy and is embarrassed that she is bald). Most
princesses and queens have very delicate tiaras, but this queen wears a rather masculine crown with pride. The use of color in the queen captures her dark persona. Her low voice and bass music when she is on screen adds to her sinister description. She also takes up a lot of physical space. With her draping cape and tall stature, she shows power. Power. It’s all about power. Her regal status along with her control even instills fear in the big brawny hunter. Why is he afraid of her? He is the one with the knife and bow and arrow. After her huntsman fails to carry out the task of killing Snow White, the queen mentions how she can't trust a man to do anything right, and if she wants something done right, she will have to do it herself. She exudes confidence and she is powerful. I wouldn't want to get on her bad side.

Let's take a look at some of the other Disney princesses. What do Belle, Aurora, Cinderella, and Ariel all have in common? All of these ariyan princesses (there's one: they are all white) have porclian skin and delicate features. These cartoon characters are so sexualized. They all have these tiny little waists and flawless complexion. And for rated G animation, they are pretty busty too. They are also never in pants. Princess Jasmine is the only
exception who doesn't have pale skin or wear dresses, but she is probably the most provocative one in the bunch. Remember that scene where she disracts Jafar by coming on to him or the scene on the balcony with Aladdin? Sexual Power. Also, look at their theme songs: "Somday my prince will come," "Once upon a dream," "Part of your world," What are all of these songs eluding to? That's right, Mr. Right. Their lives are incomplete in some manner because there is no man in it. When you take a moment to look at the male Disney theme songs, they are usually about power and control or their future: "Just can't wait to be king," "Go the distance." They aren't sitting around locked in a tower or scrubbing floors waiting for their princess charming. Who ever heard of a male DID: Dude in distress? It just doesn't happen.

That is why my favorite Disney princesses are Pocahontas and Mulan. They are depicted as strong-willed, independant, capable (more capable than their male counterparts), yet at the same time attractive, young women. Bot
h of them stand up for what they believe in against their fathers and authority. That takes courage--something that Disney robs the other princesses of for the most part. Their songs are about the harmony of nature and self image. Wholesome things child viewers should appreciate. We have talked about how men just "have" respect while women have to earn it. It is not an easy process and much hostility is shown toward these women who are speaking out. Both of these princesses try to instill the message to their little girl viewers that it is ok to be who you really are and stand up for what you believe in. There is more than one way to "bring honor to your family."

Now, I am not having children nor do I have this undying desire to get married (maybe I will adopt, but thats another post for another day perhaps), but if I did, I would let them watch Disney. I don't think a 5 year old would go up to her mother and question the objectification of Princess Jasmine, so I think its safe. Also, Disney is doing a better job at portraying their female characters as more independent, less DID types. I haven't seen it yet, but there is a lot of talk about how this new princess in Tangled is more like the latter of the already existing ones. So, if Disney impresses me with their more neutral approach in the representation in gender roles in their films, maybe I will just change my mind altogether and have kids just so they can watch good, wholesome motion pictures. ...though that's highly doubtful.

What a girl [thinks she] wants

The other day, we watched this super depressing documentary. Women (but mostly girls) of all ages were interviewed about their thoughts and views on sex, makeup, and just womanhood in general. It was yet another example and further evidence of how influential the media is in the minds of these naiive little women (one of my favorite books by the way..actually jo's boys tops it..i digress). No but really, these girls are so brainwashed by the images of Brittney Spears and Myriah Carey, they use makeup before they need deodorant. Most of these girls were the same age that I was w
hen all those pop celebs were big. These same girls, let's say ages 13-14ish were trying to BE Brittney (pre-going crazy and shaving her head) with the clothes they wore and the makeup they used. I try to recall those awkward pre-teen days in my life and honestly, I was more concerned about hiding my body because I was teased for being too skinny. (I believe I touch upon this topic in another blog but just to reiterate a quick point: making fun of people who are underweight is just as messed up and hurtful as making fun of obesity.) I wore baggy clothes instead of Spears' cute little naughty schoolgirl attire with pig tails and knee highs. The girls in this documentary said they dressed and acted like these celebs because they were successful and pretty and got the guys. I was astounded when it was revealed that a former porn director also directed these music videos. That means that these girls are inadvertantly influenced by porn?! wow. Is it no concern that there were 10 year olds interviewed who said they think they will have to "confront sex" in the next two years? Does no one see anything wrong here? The are spending more time in the mirror, pointing out all the things they hate about themselves and covering it up with animal-tested foundations and mascaras. Heck, one girl used lipstick for eyeshadow because it "gives a natural shine you just cannot get from real eyeshadow" (or something along those lines). The only time I wore lipstick (on my lips that is) and all that jazz was for my dance recitals and competitions.
And the whole sex issue...it seemed like fiction at such an age. To my friends and I sex was like an exclusive club that only our parents ("ew ew ew bad mental picture"--because we also were ALL very immature and refused to believe that our parents do it...the stork idea was so much less gross) and famous people were in. When our older siblings or the older kids in band bragged about eating out and getting to the center of a tootsie pop, we thought nothing of it...until the proceeded to actually explain the meaning of those phrases where neither had to do with any real food. We made stupid pacts, quite the opposite of American Pie, where we vowed we would never let anything up our you know whats except tampons. We were completely disgusted by all that sex nonsense. These girls are saying things like "well i guess if I have to so he likes me..." or "I don't think I will be ready, but do I really have a choice?" They objectify themselves because they think that its the only way guys will notice them. It is sickening, and it is the reality. Children are growing up faster with the average 11 yr old having a fully functional cellular device on hand. And why is 5th grade health now sex ed instead of just the puberty talk and nutrition? Media, parental upbringing, adolescent influence, money, the list goes on. Regardless of the cause, we gotta find a solution. There isn't much positive female encouragement out there and the little that exists is bashed so much girls are afraid to follow them. Its easier and more convenient to be a Brittney than a gosh ya know what I can't even think of a singer or actress that isn't the size of a toothpick that is a good role model off the top of my head. Wow. Case in point. Can someone save these girls from themselves before its too late? I really hope so, but God knows we have a long way to go before that desired outcome.

ELK Country: Masculinity at its finest

Over Fall Break, my dad and I went backpacking in Elk County. They call it Elk Country for the obvious reason that it has wild elk--the only wild elk on the east coast. Since I have taken a few gender studies classes, not to mention that I am currently in one, I tend to be more receptive to comments or assumptions about gend
er. Elk County is your old-fashioned, no cell phone service, women in the kitchen, men go hunting for dinner type of town. They haven't realized that it's not 1950 and the US has progressed in many fields, especially with regards to women's roles. I had many a moment where I had to rethink the repercussions of punching a man carrying a remmington700 due to some...pointed remarks.

Larissa Hatch: a brief history. Back in 1989, Larissa Catherine was born to Denis and Elizabth Hatch. 2 years later, Jacqueline Theresa joins the family. 2 years later, well, mom and dad can't afford to have any more children. So, aside from pops there are no other males (except for Raif, my dog) in the immediate Hatch family. Well, my dad still wanted boys. So he did things like coach our softball team, take us fishing and make us hook our own bait (boy did we get over our fear for creepy crawlies really fast), encouraged us to join boyscouts (yes, not girlscouts-its called venture crew which is assoc. with BSA so stop arguing with me because i am not a girlscout), go hiking and stuff like that. Our dad even taught us some construction skills when we were building our house back in '95. Now don't get me wrong, I'm still pretty "girly" too. I'm a ballerina, my room is sickeningly tidy, and I change my earrings just as often as I do my underwear. 15 years after Larissa helped wire the new home, her father and Larissa (who has now taken several courses at Juniata College specifically focusing on gender studies) are on the previously mentioned backpacking trip, where her upbringing and current knowledge of gender issues makes it quite an interesting adventure.

Male elk are ani-man whores. The male elk, more commonly known as bull, prepare nearly all year for a less than 10 minute fight (referred to as a sparring match) which determines who owns the harem of cow (female elk). Most harems contain 20-50 cow, so no one fe
els special. The bull patrols the harem to make sure no one runs astray or tries to leave the herd. Submission by the harem, control by the bull...sound familiar?

Midday Saturday, my dad and I pass these two hunters. As common lovers of nature, it is only right to bid gooddday to these fellow hikers. These hunters went above and beyond the call of duty by addressing my father and my father only with "you know its hunting season right? you should be careful, especially with HER." and the "her" was so pointed, with such a negative conotation. They might as well have called me some profanity with such a tone in their voices. It is hunting season, but there are designated areas to hike and guess who was wrong. And we let just anyone carry a gun (thank you 2nd amendment). My dad will not start a fight for no reason so he kindly accepts their words of wisdom while my tounge is bleeding from biting it so hard (bite your tounge Laris, just they aren't worth it).

Here's my favorite. Scattered amongst the trail are homes of E
lk fanatics and those rich folk who have the luxury of having more than 6 homes spread throughout the country (I'm not bitter). By Sunday afternoon, I am exhausted. When I'm exhausted, I grow impatient and intolerant. We saw a little hunter's lodge with the sign "no doe club." Clever. I nearly chucked a hand grenade that I conveniently had in my back pocket.

After our successful 20.7 mile hike, we went to the new Elk visitors center. After some geocaching and a short film on the history of Pennsylvanian elk, I had to take a pitstop. Like any other public venue, the line for the women's restroom is excessively long. I got into this intense conversation with these two women about toilets. There really is a strategy to where they are located. We were talking specifically about how it is nearly impossible to find the women's bathroom at ballgames in football stadiums. Now I haven't done any extensive research on it or anything, but women's bathrooms are usually close to food venues. My logic would tell me that when a wife or girlfriend says she needs to go to the bathroom (and usually right when there is a big play she doesn't understand because girls just don't "get sports" right?), the male counterpart asks for another corndog or coors. Like I said, I haven't opened a full investigation, but my hypothesis has some probable cause to be accurate, no?

Now, amongst all of this, you have the usual door holding, eye rolling when they saw me pull up in a pickup, and uncomfortable whispering when I'm standing within a 3 feet and have incredibly good hearing. I could say I am used to it, and just brush it off, but then I wouldn't have such a good example of masculinity at its finest here in central PA.

Tough Guise: a 2nd time around

By taking Pyschology of Gender last year, I have already been exposed to this film. Last year, I watched it and focused on the biology-related topics. This time around, I took it from a different angle. Jackson Katz kind of questions what really makes manhood. He uses strong adjectives, like dominance, power, and control. According to Katz, masculinity and violence go hand-in-hand. They exude a confidence to put on a front. The documentary uses the analogy of the curtain in "The Wizard of Oz." Behind this big, intimidating force is a small not-so-scary man. Men hide their true feelings through violence, because it is not socially acceptable to express those emotions. A really interesting point Katz made was this idea of the invisibility of masculinity. When you read in the newspapers, woman raped... not once will it state in the article a man did it. Same for tragedies like Columbine; the boys are referred to as "students." Of course they give details on the perp but they never specifically say a male committed said crime. If you look at any crimes women committ, the headline will read something like Woman castrates husband or Teen girls killing spree. When you remove the gender from something, it shows a negative assumption for that group of people--in this case males. So, if a gender is not mentioned, society has programmed us to assume that the perpatrator was a male. And who could blame us for such an assuption when the statistics for male crimes are out of this world. 90% of the child abuse in the US is by men, 95%-rape, 85%-murder..you get the picture.

Last year, in that Psychology of Gender class, my semester-long project focused on the genderization of children's toys. We came up with some similar data to this film (and no, we did not take anything from the film; in fact, we watched it after our presentation). A big thing we noticed was the use of color in genderized vs gender-neutral toys. I bet you can guess what color the girls' toys were. Most supposed gender neutral toys were the primary colors (just like the boys toys). Without reanalyzing the entire project, we came to the conclusion that gender neutral toys were actually boy toys that just happened to be acceptable for girls to play with too. How nice of them to let us into the club. The use of space was very interesting as well. Girls toys literally take up less space which is symboic of real life. Women are meant to be petite, submissive, all those things that are quite the opposite of big and intimidating. Look at male toys: the action figures are big and muscular and the racetrack/truck toys can literally take up the entire living room. When we use the projection of power and body intimidation in children's toys ages 5+, what do you expect? Its all about social learning, and when the games you play when you are a toddler suggest masculinity, of course it is going to influence how we look at masculinity later on in life. It makes it seem culturally natural to let boys play with guns and fight when they are kids. What makes us expect that they are just going to one day grow out of that and turn on their emotions?

Another huge issue this documentary highlights is the acceptance of women/homosexual haters. Personalities such as Rush Limbaugh and TV shows such as Family Guy only encourage the negative behavior. It makes these groups of people into the laughing stalk; it doesn't make light of a situation. It is even in the movies...and we laugh right along with all those snide remarks. Box offices are makin bank on the degradation of women or "the not normal male." Like in the movies, it occurs in real life too where one gains power and respect by disrespecting others. And how is any of this ok? How come there are more Limbaughs in the world than Jackson Katz? He makes such good points in this film, but who is his audience? I would assume the feminists and those who work for social justice have seen this, but it needs to reach the unattainable audience. The bad boys and the tough guys need to see this. I am not saying that it is not beneficial for anyone who cares about these issues to watch this, but it needs to break out of that circle and be exposed to those that need to change in order for social change to occur. Idealistic? Just a tad.

The sisterhood of feminism

Tuesday, we started learning about the different types of feminist thought. To continue with this theme, we read about even more variety when it comes to categorizing feminism. Amongst our liberal, psychoanalytic, care, postmodern, and 3rd wave feminists, we are exposed to a few new ways to think. Radical feminism are the extremists. You have the revolutionaries, the ones that are against pornography to the point where they are trying to make it illegal--or at least make the women that participate seem immoral. They are all about getting into the system and changing it from the inside. They believe that if the legal structures are altered, they will win the battle against sodomy laws along with the issues surrounding abortion laws. They want to remove oppression from the picture. Whether individuals agree with these laws isn't the problem; so long as women as individuals have the option to chose what they want and that added pressure is removed, the radicals' goal is met. At the same time, they use the biological aspect as liberation. It seems contrary to the ideals of oppression, but sex objectifies women, and instead of calling that oppression, radical feminists view this as a mechanism to reclaim control. Freedom of sexual expression is "good." So, my take on things? I'm all about equality and an oppression-free society, but hypocrites are in fact my biggest pet peeve (aside from people who leave the lights on when they leave a room). I wouldn't consider myself an extremest in any aspect of my life (except avacado-eating) so no...I would not say I am a radical feminist. case closed.

Eco feminism is kinda neat. It showed the link between man and nature. I did not read this section, but the group that presented highlighted how women are more frequently "one with nature" as opposed to men. Men are more focused on mind and reason whereas women use their body and emotion. Men kill (war) when women literally give life. Looking at the judeo-christian religions, all of which
were established by men. Women are more spiritual and see the interconnections within. Human destruction of nature can be compared to women oppression by man. The authors mentioned Carson's "Silent Spring." I read that book so long ago (back in my "I'm a boyscout and I am going to save the world" days) I don't recall much, but I do remember Rachel had such a passion for the conservation of nature. Maybe I'll go check it out again. I wonder if there were any big ecofeminists on the production team of Avatar.

The Marxist/socialist approach is pretty straight forward. Your class determines the amount of power exuded and the struggles within class only exists among genders differences. According to these feminists, materialism is the reason for women's expression. The division of labor keeps women in the domestic sphere and they feel that a revolution would equalize the workplace for women. They want to make domestic labor public. They feel trapped by reproductive limits. These feminists see children as an economic gain instead of human beings with potential. It is a very detached stance. There are not many emotions attached. I can't imagine having a family, in this day in age, for the sole puropse of more hands on the farm or the chance of getting more welfare. The blackeyed peas can help me out with this one, where is the love? it undermines family. It is more about capitalism--money for family or marxism-money for community, than social connections. Another critique is the question of what a revolution would actually do. If we look at past revolutions, true there is a chance for social change, but nothing happens over night. And history hasn't showed that much progress of you look at average pay rates of men vs women. I have never been a big fan of Karl or his theories, let alone his influence on feminism.

The multicultural/global feminist is super interesting. In the United States, every woman experiences her identity and status differently. It isn't just these black and white labels like in other parts of the world. There is more weight to mother or caretaker than just provider of children; same goes for career woman--it has more dimension to just that simple blocking together of women. At the same time, this challenges female essentialism. Is our essential role to cook, care, and clean? In that case, might as well bang our heads against a wall a million times to get rid of all those worthless brain cells. The term "workplace" sounds glamorous here in the US, but workplace for most abroad means sweatshops, house cleaner, etc. This devalues the idea of women in the workplace. The ongoing debate of feminism vs. womanism continues. We all understand the fundamentals of feminism, so I won't go there; however, womanism (at least in our class) is a new term. It creates a distinction for black feminism. Because of that other dimension for black women, it is safe to categorize them differently. BUT, if we categorize black women differently, and we are talking about feminism on a global level, shouldn't we do the same for all races? And there lies the discrepancy. Then lies the challenge of uniting women cross-culturally. Realizing a sisterhood exists isn't enough. We must accept and embrace that we don't all do things the same way and just because it isn't our way doesn't mean it is wrong (the common American mentality). The hard part is how to bridge that gap. Education seems like the obvious answer, but American women have the most agency to travel and educate/learn from others. Some women will never make it out of their hometowns, so their role would be to accept the strange woman into their home and listen and speak of their different worlds. In my personal experience (though it only goes as far as Latin America...and Canada is that counts), women are very prideful of their roots and traditions. Some do not see it as oppression, because it is all they know.
My host mom for example was stunned when I told her I really had no desire to get married or have kids. I told her I see my life as one to share with others in a different way--in my NPO endeavors. She questioned my faith and my femininity, and told me a woman's work is in her house for her family. Though I was boiling inside, I realized where my dear mother was coming from and I respect that. Her only experience was to have a family and do just that. When we got divorced, she struggled because she did not have her own education to fall back on (she relied on her husband completely). She is a very successful--don't be surprised--chef/cake decorator. And regardless of her unsupportive nature toward my dream career, I love her dearly. I do not know if it is my place to step in and raise the red flag. At this point, I have only shared "the American way" (and who is to say if we are even doing it right?) by telling my stories or hopes and dreams. So, is having the luxury to travel to 3rd world countries a waste of an opportunity to bridge that gap or do we ultimately just widen it?